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Are You Listening?

"I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me -- and I didn't hear it."--Comedian Steven Wright

You Can Say That Again

A man bragged that he had the finest hearing aid available.
A friend asked, "What kind is it?"
He replied, "About 2:30."

The Signal Gets Weaker

I listen to my local radio station while I'm driving in my car. When I drive away from the radio tower, the signal gets weaker and weaker.  But if I turn the car around and drive back into town, the signal becomes stronger and I can hear it again. 
In the same way, we stop hearing God when we drift away from Him.  But if we will turn around and come back to Him, we'll hear His voice again. The closer we are to God, the clearer we can hear Him. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8).
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations,

Husband Tests Wifes Hearing

A man thought his wife was becoming hard of hearing, so he decided to test her. One day he walked into the living room and she was seated with her back toward him. He said, “Can you hear me?”

She didn’t respond.

So he moved a little closer, “Can you hear me?” Again, no response.

Finally, he got right behind her, “Can you hear me?”

She turned around and said, “For the third time, I said YES!”

For Here or To Go

This actually happened to me. –Kent Crockett

When I walked up to a fast-food restaurant counter the cashier asked, “If this for here or to go?”

“To go,” I replied. “I’ll take a cheeseburger and fries.”

“Okay,” she said. “Cheeseburger and fries. For here or to go?”

“To go,” I answered, figuring she didn’t hear me the first time.

“Anything else?” “Yes, I’ll take a small diet drink and an apple pie.”

“That’ll be a cheeseburger, fries, small diet drink, and an apple pie. Is that for here or to go?”

I wondered if I was being videoed on hidden camera. “To go, please,” I said for the third time, chuckling under my breath.

When they brought my order to the counter…it was on a tray!

Kent Crockett