One Fry Short of a Happy Meal
A man at McDonald's ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter asked, "Would you like fries with that?"
"Americans are killing themselves with knives . . . and forks . . .and spoons!" --Paul Harvey
Famine in the Land
At a 20-year class reunion, two guys hadn't seen each other since graduation. One was fat and the other extremely skinny. The large guy slapped skinny on the back and said, "From the looks of you, there must have been a famine in the land."
The skinny guy said, "And from the looks of you, you're the one who caused it!"
Do the Math
Junior watched as his father finished eating a heavy meal, and then loosened his belt. "Look Mom! Dad has just moved his decimal point over two places!"