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How Many Times Can You Say Nothing?

"I've got nothing to say and I'm only going to say it once!" --Casey Stengel
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You Can Say That Again

"Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut." -- Robert Newton Peck

What a Dialogue is Not

"Two monologues don't make a dialogue." --Unknown
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A Short Story

"I have a friend who's a billionaire. He invented Cliff notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, he said, 'Well first I...I make a long story short....'" --Comedian Steven Wright


An oxymoron is a combination of two words that contradict each other.
1.Exact opposite
2.Act naturally
3.Found missing
4.Genuine imitation
5.Good grief
6.Sanitary landfill
7.Alone together
8.Small crowd
9.Soft rock
10."Now, then..."
11.Peace force
12.Civil disobedience
13.Passive resistence
14.Numb feeling
15.Unbiased opinion
16.Jumbo shrimp
17.Only choice
18.Minor crisis
19.Boxing ring
20.Almost exactly
21.Deafening silence
22.Clearly confused
23.Liquid gas
24.Same difference
25.Freezer burn
26.Rolling stop
27.Plastic glasses
28.Political science
29.Tight slacks
30.Definite maybe
31.Pretty ugly
32.Rap music
33.Politically correct
and lastly. . .
34.Microsoft Works

Do You Mean . . .

"Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't be mean when you say it." --Meryl Runion
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What the words REALLY Mean

Like statistics, words can often be made to say whatever you want.  Walter Michalke scrambled the letters of words to make his own definitions. 
You can use the letters in “Presbyterian” to spell “best in prayer.” 
“George Bush” can spell “He bugs Gore.”  
“The Morse Code” makes “Here come dots.” 
“Slot machines” can mean “cash lost in me.” 
“Dormitory” can be altered to spell “Dirty room.” 
“Election results” can end up spelling “Lies let’s recount.” 
“Snooze alarms” can be rescripted to “Alas no more Zs.”  
--In Other Words, October 2009

Proactive vs. Reactive

A young son and his father were walking in the mountains. The father said, “Why don’t you yell and see if anyone is out there?”

So the little boy yelled, “Helllooooooo. . .”

To his surprise, he hears a voice answering, “Helllooooooo. . .”


Curious, he yells back, "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?"


Angered at the response, he screams: "You’re an idiot!"

He hears the reply: "You’re an idiot!"


He looks to his father and asks, "What's going on?"

The father explained that he’s hearing an echo, and whatever he says will be repeated back to him. Then the dad yelled into the valley, “I think you’re great!”

The voice answers, “I think you’re great!”


The father turned to his son and explained: "The way you talk to others is a lot like this echo.  If you’re angry and yell at them, they will yell back.  But if you will say nice things to them, they will respond in the same way to you.” --Author Unknown

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Silent and Listen

SILENT and LISTEN are spelled with the same letters.  Coincidence?
Kent Crockett's Sermon Illustrations,

I Hear What You Are Not Saying

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."  --Peter Drucker

Cross Reference:

But, did I hear that correctly?

The Big Date

Stop in the Name of . . .