By "singleness" we mean "the state of remaining unmarried" or "the period between leaving home and before marriage." Obviously, many people pass through this important time period. This time can either be joyful and beneficial, or miserable and frustrating. Let's take a look at some of the principles found in the Bible to help us understand God's viewpoint concerning singleness.
Being single doesn't make you a "half-person."
When an unmarried person approaches his late 20's or early 30's, he may think of himself as incomplete. A single person isn't a half-person. Jesus said the two shall become one flesh (Matt 19:5). He didn't say the two halves will become a whole, but two whole individuals will become one flesh. In other words, you can be a complete person whether single or married. Our Lord Jesus was single and He certainly was a complete, whole person. View your own singleness in the same way.
Consider the seriousness of marriage.
Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will make during your lifetime. When you finally do get married, you are bound to that person as long as your spouse shall live (1 Cor 7:39, Rom 7:2) and there is no returning to single life. That's why it is important to live life to the fullest as a single, and to make sure the person you want to marry is the right one. If you are walking in God's will, you will know in your heart if he or she is the right person.
In Matt 19:9-12, the disciples were shocked when Jesus spoke of the permanency of marriage. Their response was, "It is better not to marry." Jesus replied very few could understand the seriousness and permanency of marriage (Matt 19:11). If God considers the marriage union as that important, then we need to be very careful and take time when considering marriage (see Prov. 19:13-14, 21:9,19 25:24).
Singleness is both good and a gift.
Some singles consider singleness as bad and a curse. But God says it is both good (1 Cor 7:1,8,26) and a gift (1 Cor 7:7). Many young people I have talked to have hoped singleness is one gift they wouldn't be given! We must remember that all of God's gifts are good (James 1:17,1 Tim 4:4).
I have also noticed that most of the people who have the gift of celibacy do not desire to get married. If you desire to get married someday, then more than likely you don't have this gift. Until the right person comes along, you need to learn how to live happily as a single. t is of utmost importance to learn to be content in the state that you are in until the time of marriage arrives (Phil. 4:11, 1 Cor. 7:26-27).
Be content with being single
Paul said in Phil 4:11, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am, to be content." He learned how to enjoy life regardless of circumstances. Unfortunately, a great many single people overlook the opportunities of singleness and live in frustration always looking for "Mr. Right" or "Miss Right." It is a temptation, whenever you meet somebody new, to think, "Is he (or she) the one?" Those who are pre-occupied with this question are usually more interested in the state of being married than establishing a good relationship with that person. A good relationship comes before a good marriage, not vice versa.
If you aren't content with being single, then it is unlikely you will be content with being married. One counselor said, "Half of the people who come to me have problems because of their marriage…and the other half have problems because they are single!" The lesson here is your problems won't go away just because you get married. You will carry them with you into your marriage if you don't learn to how to handle them now.
You can learn to be content in your singleness by looking at the advantages of being single. There are pluses and minuses in both singleness and marriage. When you get married, you exchange the advantages and disadvantages of singleness for the advantages and disadvantages of marriage. Discontentment comes when the single person is anxious to get married, or the married person is anxious to get divorced. Like flies on a screen door, the ones on the outside want to get in, and the ones on the inside want to get out. Everybody thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. There is more than enough green grass on either side to fulfill both the single and the married person.
Potential Advantages to Singleness
1) Time to work out personal problems and to mature.
Many singles think, "If I could get married, that would solve my problems." It wouldn't. Usually marriage magnifies your problems because your spouse has to live with them, and you have to live with your spouse's! The more problems you learn to handle while single, the less you will have to deal with in marriage.
2) Free to move and go where you wish.
It is a great advantage to be able to pack up and move at any time. Not so in marriage. You and your spouse need to be in agreement, and your belongings are more than doubled.
3) Opportunities to meet and date others of the opposite sex.
People need to date others while single because after they are married, this is no longer an option. The problem many people experience is after the honeymoon wears off and the reality of marriage hits, they start missing the dating in single life. This spells trouble for that marriage. After a person is married, the dating should continue, but only with the spouse.
4) Opportunities to accomplish goals.
There are some jobs, adventures, and personal goals that can only be accomplished while single.
5) Not having to provide for spouse or children.
It does take more money to raise a family and a single person can use his or her situation to become financially free and prepare for the future.
6) Not having scars from a broken marriage or divorce.
The single person needs to be thankful that he or she has not gone through a divorce as many people have experienced. Singleness is a far better situation than having gone through the heartache of divorce (Matt 19:10-11).
7) Undivided attention to the Lord.
Paul said the unmarried person can give all of his or her attention to pleasing the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32-34).
8) Less trouble in this life.
Marriage brings great blessing, but it can also bring more trouble (1 Cor. 7:28). The single person can rejoice in the fact he has a lesser degree of trouble than the person who is married.
Of course, marriage is a wonderful blessing, but the above 8 points are mentioned to emphasize the advantages of singleness.
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